Emotional Relationships
In principle, we all know that the beginning of love is butterflies and a natural, innate attraction between the sexes. For this reason, we will not be able to judge the continuation of love until we have seen the realistic side of it and accepted it. I mean, in short, we need to communicate with the mind more than the emotions. We ask ourselves: Are we really ready to remain responsible for a balanced family home? Unfortunately, we will find a large group of people who still look at the issue superficially and do not take into account any responsibility or waiver of any detail in their lifestyle before marriage.
Thus, they are surprised by reality and do not accept it. Because a serious relationship needs preparation. It is necessary that we deal with it as a phenomenon that will not go by itself randomly; as soon as a young man reaches twenty-six years of age and owns a large, Arab apartment, the latest model remains, in the eyes of many, ready, and this is wrong.
We will explain it step by step so that we understand the man on the verge of marriage. The first and most important step in preparing for marriage is self-identification. You must really get to know yourself first. We need to understand ourselves in a healthy way and we understand our needs in order to know that we really decide what suits us, because if we want a partner who appreciates our achievements and desires, we cannot know how to reach that, and we are basically lost. Keep in mind that your relationship with yourself is important and that what you offer yourself is what the person in front of you offers you. There are three important steps that you must take before you take the link step.
The first of them is to know exactly what you want from your future partner. It means the basic specifications that you will not be able to live without; what do you not prefer but can coexist with, and what is impossible to accept in the first place? The second step is to have a vision of the life that you aspire to with your partner. You may want to travel outside the country in which you live or build a specific business.
The important thing is to be clear about your perceptions so that you can negotiate them with your partner afterward. The third step is to be aware of the obstacles that come from you personally or from your experiences. For example, your fear of responsibility or your fear of letting the other party down and your understanding of such matters will make you deal with it in the right way without dropping it on the other side. There is another issue that must be understood in relation to the first step, in which we talked about selection criteria.
It is natural that there will be differences between you because marriage is a complete life journey. Conflicts in it are self-evident between the two of you in one house. After they were in completely different environments, it was not easy to accept reality as it is. But it is necessary because the nature of humans is different, and their patterns are multiple, and your understanding of this idea will comfort you a lot. But it is very important that you stay away from the big and island differences from the start, which leave the relationship unequal from the start. Like the age difference is too big, or the woman has to be very rich. And the husband is normal. Problems like these are avoided as much as possible in long-term relationships.
In order for there to be parity between the spouses. Social and material equivalence. What is more dangerous than all of this is intellectual equivalence. Because the great age difference or the noticeable social difference can be compensated for by intellectual closeness. But in the event that there is no intellectual convergence, then allow me to tell you that, unfortunately, this relationship has been a failure from the beginning because thought equals mutual compatibility between the sexes. But in a case where there is chemistry and compatibility between you and the relationship is clear between you, do not be in a hurry with emotions and a lot of romance; do not be naive, and try to mix reality with what is promoted in the movies, because in this case there are five natural stages, the first of which is the stage of communication. In the sense of attraction, comfort, and sensual, mental, and emotional acceptance, the second stage of discovery and acquaintance. This is the most important stage in which you talk to the other party about his plans and the way he spends his time, focusing on his dealings with you and others.
He agrees that he fulfills his words and is able to listen. The most important thing at this stage is that the two parties be themselves without pretense. To discover a partner the right way. At this stage, you are supposed to clearly define the advantages and disadvantages, and based on that, you will make the right decision. And the fourth step : It is intimacy that is considered, each party allowing the other to approach the other to see his hopes and get to know his world and his inner fear. Finally, the decision to commit occurs when both parties have a clear awareness of and desire for closeness and continuity. This is the starting point from which the announcement of the beginning of the actual marital journey is made: either agree on all the broad lines and details that the relationship will need, such as how each party will act in times of disagreement and crisis and the role and responsibility of each party in the relationship. This is a very important point that the two parties agreed on from the beginning.
The lack of clarity in marital roles causes tension and tiring problems. As a married couple, you have the option of each party doing what suits him instead of saying, “I am not obligated, because adjusting the roles here is very important and necessary.” Because the man and the woman are each committed to their specializations according to what was then agreed upon based on the interdependence between the spouses marriage, housing, affection, and stability, our need for love is great physically, emotionally, and mentally. Believe me, if we do not understand facts like this, we will suffer with time, and a troubled generation will grow up for us.
Because the children see their parents as role models, they then make a decision to commit and agree on every need. And one door will be closed to you. Congratulations, my friend. But before you accuse me of deceiving you and say that you were shocked by the changes that occur after marriage, let me tell you that expectations that are not logical are what expose you to shock, no matter how prepared you are. Because it is possible that everything around us changes with time, crises occur, diseases appear, priorities differ, and even social status can change from day to night. If it were not for the relationship based on understanding, trust, and friendship, it would remain flexible to overcome crises with both spouses, and I am with you that love is romantic and beautiful.
But marriage is realistic and responsible; it does not remain devoid of romance. On the contrary, marriage has affection and feelings that are much deeper than any relationship, but it is mixed with responsibilities and big concessions. Thus, you must know that marriage is not just a fleeting experience. We never have to walk behind fairy tales of love from movies and series. Because human nature always raising expectations due to dissatisfaction. Even if the marriage is good, both parties will be victims of delusions. At the same time, I would like to say that you don’t have to focus on negative experiences.
Because every experience is unique. In short, people take positive words or experiences and apply them as much as possible. And we try to avoid the problems that come with any relationship. Problems such as the lack of communication
Weak dialogue between spouses. Although communication is one of the most important pillars of a truly successful marriage, the truth is that silence and a lack of dialogue lead to frustration and emotional dryness, while continuous talk strengthens the relationship. Even if you talk about the negatives facing the relationship. This helps in many cases. Because people who hide feelings of dissatisfaction for a long time weaken the relationship with time and emotional connection in general, one of the biggest problems that leave the dialogue unsuccessful is misunderstanding, incomprehensible speech, and turning facts around. Or deal with the logic of expectations and assumptions. In general, you will find many practical, step-by-step books that will help you conduct a successful dialogue with your partner. As well as how to deal with the crises that result from long-term emotional relationships. But even if there is a language of dialogue between the two parties, sometimes misunderstandings occur.
You should know that there are natural differences between the sexes that make them misunderstand each other. Both parties need to understand the differences between them in order to know how to properly meet each other. In exchange for a man’s need for sex. For a woman, for example, it is a source of safety and participation in conversation with her husband. Which is enough to satisfy her emotionally. While the man is practical and loves fun activities. It is possible to search for each party in the second for common points to meet the needs of the other at the same time, because in times of crisis, you will find that when a woman faces a problem, she talks and needs support and empathy.
But man needs silence and solitude, and this is what causes great disagreement because it is expected to be the exact opposite. It is also one of the most important needs for women. Commitment; it is the family commitment of the man. And that he is supportive of her at home, shares with her, and is interested in his children. It is not certified that it only works and acts. On the other hand, one of a man’s greatest needs is to feel appreciated and admired by his wife. And she reached him. He is an important person, and she praises him. Because this will make him repeat his good behavior with her. He is motivated to help her and feels useful. On the other hand, the woman knows some of the behaviors that make the man happy, and frankly, both parties love such behaviors that satisfy the psyche of each person in the relationship.
However, the differences between men and women in general differ from each other in the language of love, or the way in which each individual loves. In fact, there are five ways to love a language.
We all have it. But the degree of importance of each language varies from person to person. These languages are the first to devote time. In the sense of spending time with the other party. Whether for entertainment or speech and hiking, change the language of expressions of encouragement and praise to the language of symbolic gifts, such as when you bring her a rose when you return from work, or she prepares for you the bathroom that you love. So is the language of sensory communication and cuddling, that is, sitting next to your partner.
And the fifth language is to help in business. However, since we agreed from the beginning on realism, things do not always go as planned. And sometimes it gets complicated. Until we are about to separate from this relationship, there are books that will help you save your marriage. And get your wife or your husband back before it’s too late. In the event that the relationship is severe and destined for separation, my friend is content with fate and separates from your partner according to favor. With kindness and respect, accept the loss, knowing that it is not the end and that you can start over. But the important thing is not to try to connect for the second time quickly. Until you recover. And be patient with the stages of pain, and wait for your heart to rejoice again. Surely you are wondering, “Does the pain have stages?
I will tell you, of course, separation has difficulty and feelings associated with recovery, which are anger, sadness, fear and sorrow. What is important is that you remain celibate until you pass through every feeling of them. To be able to bid again. Finally, my friend, marriage a part of life has its advantages and disadvantages, and the continuation of love between any couple needs effort from both parties, like anything in life. And the spark of love is like a spark of fire that needs someone to keep it burning. I wish you a happy and stable emotional life.
